I think those conversations about feelings and intentional repairs make a huge difference. Or at least, I hope they do! I don't remember those kinds of conversations ever happening in my childhood.
I think those conversations about feelings and intentional repairs make a huge difference. Or at least, I hope they do! I don't remember those kinds of conversations ever happening in my childhood.
I've read that traumatic events are traumatizing because we don't feel safe to fully process them and/or aren't given enough information about them to heal well (especially as children), and I think that definitely also applies to understanding other people's feelings and that they're often not even really *about* us even when they're directed *at* us, and recognizing that sometimes feelings are just hard and we don't know how to deal and that's normal and we can keep trying and learning. I think if someone had had conversions about that with me when I was younger, I'd be better at processing and regulating my feelings now, and I also wouldn't have felt so responsible for others' emotional state.
This makes so much sense to me. I definitely entered adulthood with the beliefs that I should never feel anger and that I was responsible for the feelings of people around me. It's been a slow unlearning, but I've come a long way!
I think those conversations about feelings and intentional repairs make a huge difference. Or at least, I hope they do! I don't remember those kinds of conversations ever happening in my childhood.
I've read that traumatic events are traumatizing because we don't feel safe to fully process them and/or aren't given enough information about them to heal well (especially as children), and I think that definitely also applies to understanding other people's feelings and that they're often not even really *about* us even when they're directed *at* us, and recognizing that sometimes feelings are just hard and we don't know how to deal and that's normal and we can keep trying and learning. I think if someone had had conversions about that with me when I was younger, I'd be better at processing and regulating my feelings now, and I also wouldn't have felt so responsible for others' emotional state.
This makes so much sense to me. I definitely entered adulthood with the beliefs that I should never feel anger and that I was responsible for the feelings of people around me. It's been a slow unlearning, but I've come a long way!
Same here!