This is wonderful, Billy! I love the metaphor of clouds and water, and the way you weave them together so beautifully. The growing of chidlren into the great ribers, raids, waterfalls flowing into the sea is brilliant and creative. The way you connect beginning and ending is splendid, and brings the poem to a lovely full circle. Thank you for sharing!
Beautiful, Billy! I feel like the "brackish water where their pureness fades" could be a metaphor for so many things, and I love how it all comes full circle.
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yeah, just thinking about children and how they move forward through life. Gaining wisdom and freedom but losing that childhood innocence.
This is sort of a response to your poem Lisa.
Brackish Water-
Can the parent clouds understand
What they produce?
Just drops of rain or
Pure perfection?
The drops coalesce
Through mountain streams
They flow
Growing all the while
While the parent clouds cast their shadows over them
Watching
Unable to effect them now
The clouds float helpless
The drops of rain
Roar mighty
Through rapids
In waterfalls
Forming the great rivers
Pressing forward
Unawares
Toward the brackish water
Where their pureness fades
As they travel
To the sea
Immeasurable
Vast
The sun and the salt
Pull the drops back
Lifting
Soaring
Hydrogen
Oxygen
The parent clouds
Re-unite
Children
Grandchildren
Great-grandchildren
On into infinite generations
Just drops of rain
Or pure perfection?
I love the image of parent clouds hovering over the child, now a roaring river! What a beautiful concept.
I love this watery metaphor, Billy. And the contrast you illustrate with the juxtaposition of brackishness and purity.
Thanks for reading. Always appreciate your comments and feedback!
This is wonderful, Billy! I love the metaphor of clouds and water, and the way you weave them together so beautifully. The growing of chidlren into the great ribers, raids, waterfalls flowing into the sea is brilliant and creative. The way you connect beginning and ending is splendid, and brings the poem to a lovely full circle. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Larry!
Beautiful, Billy! I feel like the "brackish water where their pureness fades" could be a metaphor for so many things, and I love how it all comes full circle.
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yeah, just thinking about children and how they move forward through life. Gaining wisdom and freedom but losing that childhood innocence.
Ah I feel so much of this Billy!!! Such magnificent metaphors and wondering images you paint with your words!