65 Comments

I love your renderings of these diverse ways in which enlivenment visits you...and the idea of "falling awake" is a brilliant naming of the experience of abrupt wakefulness! My psyche apparently took this prompt as an invitation to mill some relational grist in a very rhymey way:

*

Please do not mistake

my closed door as a

display of disloyalty or a

referendum on your lovability.

It is simply a need

for privacy. Not a punishment

nor a luxury. A need

that if suppressed or denied

will, inevitably,

extinguish the last gasping embers

of true intimacy

between you and me.

Because the more you demand

transparency, the harder you push

against my boundary,

the faster and deeper I retreat

into the sanctity of interiority,

locking myself behind doors

you will

never

ever

see.

Expand full comment

Oh wow, that ending! I love how each of those final lines was a little shorter than the one preceding it, like russian nesting doll doors, ever smaller, ever more interior, ever more tightly locked. This is a beautiful poem!

Expand full comment

And I love the image of the nesting Russian doll doors! Thanks, friend :)

Expand full comment

“Not a punishment or a luxury”. Totally agree. Necessity.

Expand full comment

To understand it, and acknowledge it, instead of getting mad at it, and trying to break it down. my closed door. woof.

Expand full comment

I relate to this need. It feels more like a need for solitude than privacy for me, but that closing off is so real.

Expand full comment

Ooooh, "the sanctity of interiority" -- I love this, and the rest of the poem. I didn't know interiority was a word, thank you for that! Can really relate with this in thinking of past relationships, one in particular. The more my alone time is perceived/treated as a threat, the more I need it.

Expand full comment

Thanks, Rebekah - and thanks for letting me know you found it relatable Interiority is a place I visit frequently, still. And for much of my life, it was the only place that felt private and safe. Grateful that I've learned other ways to set boundaries for myself.

Expand full comment

This is wonderful, Keith. I like the sweet flow you create with your different spacing, and the ending is quite nice "locking myself behind doors you will never ever see." The lines getting shorter and shorter works so well.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much, Larry :)

Expand full comment

Keith I too like the ending and the shrinking that happens. The words describe but so do the visible movement of them. The big exclamation point on the end,

Expand full comment

Thank you, Julie!

Expand full comment

windows that open

seem half size to doors that close.

getting smaller sucks.

Expand full comment

The small but mighty haiku. Love it.

Expand full comment

I like playing with those little word nuggets

Expand full comment

Me too :)

Expand full comment

I love the contrasting images of windows and doors and the subtle irony of your choice of form - a small haiku for a poem that bemoans getting smaller.

Expand full comment

Your doorway is my magic. (I am for sure one of the weird ones. 🧡) I can't figure out if I want to reorder the stanzas, so here it is:

I have touched magic,

felt its heart beat in my hand.

I've lifted its body from out of my own,

felt the weight of it.

I've dipped my toes into it and

felt the nibbles of life's hunger.

I've channeled it through my fingers,

felt it flow into thread, brush, and pen.

I've held my hand to my chest,

felt the thrum repeating:

alive, alive, alive.

.

I have witnessed magic,

watched it flit between branches.

I've been drawn toward its light,

watched it paint the world gold.

I've stopped in my tracks and

watched it run past into the woods.

I've seen it smiling wide,

watched it rest in creases beside eyes.

I've followed its dance with my gaze,

watched the movements repeating:

alive, alive, alive.

.

I have inhaled magic,

breathed in the day's bright beginning.

I've woken to it brewing,

breathed in the depths of its boldness.

I've scented it in salt air,

breathed in a bit of the sea.

I've caught it on the breeze,

breathed in its wild, changing nature.

I've welcomed and released,

breathed in and out repeating:

alive, alive, alive.

.

I have tasted magic,

savoured the flavours of love and home.

I've planted and watered and waited,

savoured the taste of my labour.

I've gone back for seconds,

savoured the nourishing of my self.

I've kept it on the tip of my tongue,

savoured its sweetness.

I've received its gentle kiss,

savoured the softness repeating:

alive, alive, alive.

.

I have heard magic,

listened as its laughter filled the room.

I've turned my ear and squinted,

listened for its gurgles and babbling.

I've swayed tired as it fussed,

listened as the cries became sighing.

I've waited with quiet yearning,

listened breathless to the first I love you's.

I've returned to its shores again and again

listened to the rush and roar repeating:

alive, alive, alive.

Expand full comment

A, this is gorgeous! I could feel the pulse of your words with each refrain - alive, alive, alive.

Expand full comment

This is exquisite, A! I love that you have carefully chosen such beautiful images in tribute to your experience of the magic of existence through each of your senses. And the recursion of "alive, alive, alive" did, as Lisa said, strike me as the pulse of life. Brilliant :)

Expand full comment

those first I love yous

Expand full comment

That was amazing. The entire poem was alive with motion and well, magic!

Expand full comment

Oooo love that you went through the different senses in how magic is perceived. Magical.

Expand full comment

This is a spectacualr poem, A. It is one of the most wonderful I have read in these spaces over the past 12 months. I love the refrain of "alive, alive, alive" and how you weave so many renderings, feelings and descriptions of magic so beautifully with imagery tied to nature and the sensuality of being human. This is an epic gem!

Expand full comment

Lisa thank you for your poem! And I love this topic of threshold and the liminal. After all my substack is entitled Liminal Walker Musings! I wrote this poem awhile back, here it is for you all today...

.

I am drawn to walk

shores of ebb and flow

Liminal tides that

wane only to grow

.

Two seemly opposing forces

in a death and birth dance

They morph and converge

as if in a trance

.

Matter now energy

energy now matter

Difference blurs

in an ongoing rapture

.

Deep in that opacity

appearances fall away

What is transpiring

is hard to convey

.

For behind the scenes

a masterpiece is painting

The landscape itself

is doing the creating

.

The strokes of Her brush

both shape and destroy

Its creativity’s playfulness

dancing with joy

.

It is in this liminal space

I am called to walk

To witness the magic

with the eyes of a hawk

.

For pure pleasure is unfurling

and it’s summoning me

Please join in delight

connect and you’ll see

.

Let go of the separation

take down the wall

I am coming to realize

I am that call

Expand full comment

Landscape as a joyful, playful creator! What a beautiful image, Julie.

Expand full comment

This is a lovely invitation, Julie. And I love the idea of the landscape herself doing the creating.

Expand full comment

I love the invitation to “join in delight”!

Expand full comment

I am that call! I love that!

Expand full comment

Julie, this is very wonderful! Your poems often feel like painting as poems, so beautifully drawn and written. The rhyming here is excellent, flowing and smooth. The last stanza is magic!

Expand full comment

Welcome to the Respite Room.

You have left What Was Before.

Come inside,

Rest your body,

Gather your thoughts,

Gaze out the window,

Dare to dream.

But be aware,

You cannot stay.

You have more to do,

With your wild and precious life,

Beyond these four walls.

I understand.

You like it here.

It is comfortable.

Familiar.

But everything you know was once unknown.

You still have some time here.

But one day soon,

The window will close

And doors of opportunity will appear.

Yes, of course, you may peak behind them.

Consider your choices before you move ahead.

Then, decision made, you will open one door fully and cross the threshold to

What is Next.

Expand full comment

This is beautiful, Karri! The idea of a respite room for the in-betweens of our lives is so lovely. It makes me think of a model that was used to describe change in the coaching program I was in (Martha Beck's) . . . first, there's the stage in which our old life or some aspect of it has dissolved. We're like the goop in a chrysallis - no longer a caterpillar, not yet a butterfly. Then comes the stage of dreaming and imagining and planning what might come next - "consider your choices before you move ahead," as you put it in your poem. And only after spending time in our goopy, grief-filled phase and our dreamy imagining phase are we ready to begin the work of breaking out of the chrysallis.

Expand full comment

That is lovely. I’m very much still in the goop lol

Expand full comment

I have been there, and I’m certain I’ll find myself there again! ❤️

Expand full comment

I love the bookending of this beautiful poem with the threshold of what was before and what is next and also the nod you give to Mary Oliver. I often mistake the familiarity of the known for comfort, until the part of me that yearns for more grows uncomfortable with the "comfort."

Expand full comment

Thank you Keith. Mary Oliver is the reason I really started reading and being interested in poetry although what a cliche line to quote lol.

Expand full comment

I really love her stuff too, Karri. And that may be an oft-quoted line, but for good reason...words immemorial!

Expand full comment

And what a great line to quote, my favorite of hers.

Expand full comment

Agree!

Expand full comment

This is exceptional, Karri. What a beautifully honest, precise and evocative poem. You capture that intangible feeling of crossing a threshold, moving from one e place or phase, into another, so wonderfully well. 🙏🏻

Expand full comment

Thank you Larry! Trying to embrace the unknown for a few more weeks. I have a couple of trips planned but after those are over I am going to have to get serious about a job search. Or something lol.

Expand full comment

Prayers and blessings are with you!

Expand full comment

As I wrote this, I thought of how each of you, and this beauitful space, have opened me in ways that I celebrate every day.

Openings

^

“Perhaps there will be an opening for me…”

I hear outside diner say to her companion.

A walk by, fleeting glimpse of a conversation,

led me to think about openings.

What am I opening to, and towards?

Am I opening, or closing?

Or is the door stuck?

Am I “ A dweller on the threshold

Waiting at the door.”

Life seems like a series of thresholds,

of openings and closings,

Of beginnings and more beginnings,

and of endings.

It is difficult to understand the story

when you are in it.

History always looks clearer

from a distance,

and just murky and mucky

when it is being created.

May in this day, this simple spring day,

In May;

May I be opened

and may I be open

to all that may be

and all that could be

when this very next threshold is crossed.

Quotation from Van Morrison's song "Dweller on the Threshold"

Expand full comment

"It is difficult to understand the story / when you are in it." So true and so perfectly put, Larry! I love the prayerful ending . . . "may I be open/ to all that may be/ and all that could be." That's my hope, too! Being here in community with all of you warm, generous, big-hearted humans definitely feels like an opening in my life.

Expand full comment

Thank you Lisa! You are the welcoming guide at the door to this special place.

Expand full comment

loved this Larry - "May I be opened and may I be open to all that may be and all that could be" What a beautiful blessing. I love this poem being about opening. I ponder, there are so many simultaneous openings and closings happening all the time. Closing making the opening possible, closing as the completion of an exhale.

Expand full comment

Thank you Julie! I like your expression of the perpetual nature of openings and closings. So true! Blessings to you!

Expand full comment

Like Karri, the lines "It is difficult to understand the story/when you are in it" really struck me. This is both beautiful and so relatable, Larry. Thank you for opening yourself with us all here.

Expand full comment

So difficult to understand the story when you are in it! Thank you for the invitation that we should all be open to all that may be!

Expand full comment

Thank you Karri, and you are welcome!

Expand full comment

"It is the knot on the top

of your left shoulder, that

hollow echo behind your heart."

Oh, man. What a poem. And I'm so excited to try this prompt when I get home. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Margaret! I’d love to read what you come up with!

Expand full comment

Before I even contemplate to write. I have had these feelings at various times over the years and i vividly recall one time in high school. It was almost like a Deja vu feeling but everything looked clear like actually vividly clear in my vision. It was so bizarre. Hasn’t happened in a really long time. I wish it would again!

Expand full comment

That’s so interesting to hear you compare it to deja vu, Karri - and that totally fits for me. They share some sort of tingly, super-sensing, ultra aware quality.

Expand full comment

I love this so much! Hanging on your very word. You describe a way in which I used to feel frequently, when aliveness would strike anytime. When the silhouettes of the trees right as the sun was setting would make my heart sing, or a beautiful textile would bring tears to my eyes. I am so glad I read this reminder, feels like waking up just a little. Thank you!

Expand full comment

I’m so glad, Lauren, and thank you for your kind words! This aliveness definitely waxes and wanes in my life. One thing I love about writing poetry (or any creative practice) is that it makes me more awake and attentive to the world - and that in turn helps inspire poems . . . which all feeds back into this feeling of aliveness.

Expand full comment

Your poem is so lovely. I love how you weave words together.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, LeeAnn! That means so much to me.

Expand full comment

Love the stanza 'the door is heat in your palm acid on your tongue', Lisa. Beautiful poem. I agree, thresholds are always buzzing with magic. With invitation. With 'should I explore or should I pass this one up?' energy. And thank you for the fun prompt. :)

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, Petra! I love the word invitation to describe this.

Expand full comment

Lisa, just realized that I neglected to post how powerful your poem is. Your poems, each time, resonate so strongly, because they are beautifully written and because you seem to have a wonderful gift of connection with heart, soul and spirit.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much, friend!

Expand full comment

What if every day were like

Garbage Day,

when I have to drive my tote

down the road to where it

jabs an elbow into the river

.

and, once there,

can’t help but notice

the cottonwood curtains drawn low

over all that snow cut loose and

Yoohoo-hued, hurtling past

to find the salmon?

.

When in its deepest knowing,

Apple Music shuffles forth

a song about a laughing river?

.

When the song stings my eyes

but only enough to clean them,

sharpening the lines of

aerialist swallows overhead

on their invisible trapezes

.

and that lone violet-green

on his 240-volt tightrope,

and I realize they are all here

for me, the only paying customer

in the big top?

.

It costs $6.50 to trade

a receptacle of trash

for this shining door

into my day.

.

But it’s a hair trigger transaction.

If performed too often, it would

surely collapse. So I grow my

garbage, waiting for it to

say go of a Thursday morning,

waiting for the next run.

Expand full comment

It's a spiritual practice to receive the unexpected joys of a dump run without expecting them or grasping to repeat! I loved this. "Yoohoo-hued" and "this shining door into my day" really grabbed me, the former for its playfulness and the latter for its shimmering.

Expand full comment

Rebekah this is precious. Being open, available to the wondrous joys of the morning as the garbage tote is taken to its pick up site. Not as a chore, but a sweet expectancy of what this day is offering and delivering. No blinders buy open eyes.

Expand full comment