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I love the connection you made here, and the juxtaposition between the two parts. This feels like it came at the perfect time for me, once again. I'm calling this one there's an app for that"

.

I sink farther into the couch to listen

to a meditation I technically paid $70 for -

the first of many exercises which promise

to retrain my brain, helping me cope

with stress, and alleviating my chronic pain.

I can hear the frustratingly repetitive show

my toddler is now watching across the room,

a slight improvement from having it right

next to me, and just as I begin to tune it out,

a woodpecker begins its excavation

of our siding, though I can't imagine

there are many bugs hiding inside of it, and

now the dog is barking, and then growling,

and then grumbling...

.

I rewind the meditation and begin

the process of settling in, again.

I close my eyes and feel

the pulsing sensation at my temple,

at the base of my head.

I inhale and exhale to relax my jaw

because this is the only way I can remember

how to unclench, and I repeat this

as many times as it takes to relax enough

for it to stay unclenched, meanwhile

the woodpecker moves on, and the dog

drops back into her snooze, and my jaw

is finally loose. The tension in my head

has eased, and now I can feel the grief

and anxiety inside my body, as if

through a dream, which at this moment

sounds like such a relief, because

it is only just now that my body has found

the ability to tell me how tired I am -

and then the meditation ends.

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A, I love matter-of-fact, stream-of-consciousness, almost detached tone of this poem (or that's how it lands for me, anyway). Like you're just letting the thoughts float past. Like it's all a part of the meditation. And then without a bunch of fanfare, you stick that ending so powerfully - "it is only just now that my body has found / the ability to tell me how tired I am / and then the meditation ends." This is so beautiful and so relatable, and I am so wishing you rest, my friend!

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Thank you, that was my intention so I'm glad to hear it translated for you! And I'm very much working on the rest. 🤞🏻

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I love this A. And I can relate. As a underachieving meditator, I have dabbled in apps, books, recordings, silence, music, prayer and bells to bring me to that deep meditative state. A serial dabbler I expect I am destined to be. I love the way you bring us through the winding frustrations of the app to that place where you indeed find that restful place-which as it issometimessaid, has been inside you all along.

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Another very relatable poem...I felt this in my own body as I read along...not just because you did such a great job of describing your somatic experience, but also because you did a great job connecting me with mine.

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I found myself unclenching my own jaw as I read along. I too wish you rest and relaxation!

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As I mentioned in my reply to Lisa, I have been in sheer survival mode lately. I started back to work in August as a PreK secretary/office/floater and it is alternately exhausting - being in the classroom to relieve teachers for breaks and on recess duty - and slow - time in the office where there isn't much to do to mark time. But at the end of the day, I haven't had the mental where with all to concentrate on anything, writing, reading, crafting. Then I got Covid and at least concentrated enough to start a new TV show (The Bear - 10/10 would recommend). But creatively, I have been zapped. I am a deconstructing, questioning, ex-Vangelical Christian and I found a book recently that has helped called Breath as Prayer and it inspired my first poem.

Inhale

And breathe

The words I long to believe.

Exhale

Release

Feel a sense of peace.

Breath is air

Breath as prayer.

The second is more of a sentimental, reflective, nostalgic wandering that is just a draft addressing the fact that so much of our memories are lost to time and maybe if we had paid more attention along the way, we would remember more. It definitely isn't done and needs work.

We heard the years were short but the days were long

And we were going to miss them when they were gone

And how many times did someone mention

That those were the good old days?

But there was life to be lived and bills to be paid

And we hoped that enough memories were made

In the moments that we paid attention

To carry us through the haze.

And we look back on the pictures and try

To remember our ordinary lives

We wonder why the details of those times

Seem to slip away.

Time is a healer, time is a thief

Softening edges of pain and of grief

But stealing thoughts of happy times

We made along the way.

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Karri, it's such a delight to see you here and to get to read both of your poems! The first felt like a prayer. My whole body softened and my heart opened as I read it . . . and that last line, "breath as prayer!" Beautiful. That notion is going to stay with me.

And then your second poem is so deeply relatable! I know the lament that runs through it all too well. Others have already said the same, but I have to echo it because the line is just that brilliant - "time is a healer, time is a thief" . . . wow. Clearly your inner genius is still intact, even with the challenges you're going through.

The whole of this second poem has me thinking about the current obsession many have with longevity and with adding more years to their life. I heard someone say recently, and I loved it, that he's less interested in adding more years to his life and more interested in being fully present for each of the moments he has here because presence has a way of stretching time, making life feel richer, fuller, and more expansive. That feels true to me. I would rather have 50 or 60 years of deep presence, connection, and intentionality than 100 years of being blown to and from by the whims of the wider culture (or 100 years of scrolling on my phone, haha).

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Sep 28Liked by Lisa Jensen

It’s so nice to see you here, Karri! Thank you for sharing what’s been going on for you. It sounds really intense! I’m glad you’re through covid (past tense now, right?) and REALLY glad that you felt inspired to write a couple poems. I love (and hate) the idea that if we paid more attention, we would remember more. I so feel that! “Time is a healer, time is a thief” — oooh, that line and the few that followed really grabbed me.

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Sep 29Liked by Lisa Jensen

"a healer AND a thief"

.wham.

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These are beauitful Karri! The first flows so easily and gently, and truly feels prayer like. "Breath is air?breath is prayer." Aloha to that. Your second poem is tender and bittersweet, and describes a journey I can relate to and I expect others as well. "Time is a healer, time is a tghief/softening edges of pain and grief." That is creatively genius. Your sharing is always a gift. Blessings as you continue on the journey of this new work.

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"time is a healer, time is a thief/softening edges of pain and grief." I love these lines. Welcome back, Karri - good to have you back here. Hope you're feeling better as you go...

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I'm sorry to hear your job has been such a drain on your energy, and about Covid. I'm glad to see you back, and I love your poems. I just started meditating again and found your first poem relaxing. And your second - Time is a healer, time is a thief"- really spoke to me.

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Sep 28Liked by Lisa Jensen

I gave myself permission to go full ADD with this poem. I'm calling it "With the Heavy Rain Lessening, this will be the Last Advisory on the System."

.

I wake in motion, stepping out of the burn

and into the featheryellow sweep I seek

each year. Some call it the Larch March

but I won’t do that, that would be like

exploiting a near-death experience,

which I guess some people also do,

but not me, not yet.

.

My white noise is called stream water flowing

but it’s a roar in truth, dialed up past base flood,

what my hairtrigger brain needs.

It is important to remember which direction

I walked then, and then.

Which way does a circle go? It certainly

goes, any climber will tell you that.

For me it was counter, then clock,

but it wasn’t easy to figure that out

while half-asleep.

.

My feed is poorly alphabetized,

Hezbollah comes before Helene.

At this hour I can hold one kind of despair

but not the other, so I skip ahead to the fall

of our whole planet, a largely bloodless story.

Sister’s winds are northerly

and the stormcenter is to her left,

so does that make it clockwise?

Does it change every time?

I just want to know if there is something

I can count on without having to

open my eyes.

.

The poet disguised as an agency meteorologist

observes that the post-tropical cyclone

"continues to slowly spin down today

into tomorrow across the Tennessee Valley."

She hasn’t slept since Thursday and

is starting to loosen to that place,

letting her limbs senesce

as she quits the mountain.

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I love how your poems spins and churns, turning in on itself like a hurricane (or, you know, like the human race). The tone and cadence of it match the subject(s) so perfectly. And these lines, oh my - "I just want to know if there is something / I can count on without having to / open my eyes."

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This is an increible poem, Rebekah. You have, as thety say, a "beautiful mind." I read your poem several times, and each time brought a new discovery. Your use of direction and clockwise/counter clockwise is brillant, and quite engaging. So many of your lines moved right into my soul: "I just want to know if there is something/ I can count on without having to/open my eyes." Oh my! "The Poet disguised as an agency meteorologist"--fantastic! " She hasn’t slept since Thursday and/is starting to loosen to that place,/letting her limbs senesce/as she quits the mountain." Thank you for the introduction of a new word for me--senesce, and for the marvelous wrap to your epic poem!

.

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This was deliciously disorienting, and layered with grief. I love that you used "senesce," such a perfect pairing with quitting the mountain.

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Powerful words about powerful storms - both Helene and humanity writ large.

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"At this hour I can hold one kind of despair/ but not the other" - yes.

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Sep 29Liked by Lisa Jensen

"i have

officially

crossed over from a

'take two & call me in the morning' patient

to a

'let's give this one a try'

guinea pig"

he proclaims to no-one,

as the infusion machine

clicks and whirrs.

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That sounds like a really hard crossing over, Chuck. I'm sending hopes of happy-guinea-pig outcomes for you or whomever this is about!

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Ending on "as the infusion machine clicks and whirrs" packed a huge punch. Adding my wishes of hope that the clicking and whirring lead to a good place for the guinea pig.

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Thinking of you in this crossing with that familiar tune of the infusion machine marking time.

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Sorry, meant to go back and take the "i" part out, sounds like a whine.

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Wishing you wellness, Chuck.

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Last night, I had the joy of attending a celebration of former students at the University doing good work in the world on diversity, equity, inclusion and freedom. This poem emerged throughout the day today.

^

America’s Room

^

Rainbow rhythms cover the ball room,

celebrating the brave ones who keep shining,

even when the way seems darkest.

A kaleidoscope of colors, languages,

gender expressions and abilities,

drawing maps to a brighter day.

Affirmations of work well done,

of sparkling possibilities to come,

complete oneness expressed in diversity,

a commitment to justice and equity

in hopes we all will wake up.

^

After the music and speeches have ended,

standing alone on the great lawn,

light of a cool autumn evening

winds it way into my heart.

American flag flapping mightily in the wind,

anchor pin ringing in tune

with each ruffle and ripple,

the spirits long ago left behind

release a mighty roar.

^

The book is still being written,

our song is not yet sung;

History is waiting for the midnight cries

and the waterfall of tears

to finally be left behind.

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I love "drawing maps to a brighter day." I picture a treasure map, straight out of Peter Pan, except it's marked Somedayland instead of Neverland. Larry, you always manage to weave grief and hope together so beautifully. Your poems never skip over or attempt to erase injustice. And yet they brim with hope, like "the book is still being written / our song is not yet sung." This is lovely!

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Thank you Lisa! I like the notion of a treasure map, ther Peter Pan variety! And SomeDayland--thart is brilliant! We have such a remarkable guide and inspiration alng the way in you. Thank you.

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I'm glad the light of a cool autumn evening wound its way into your heart and put these poetic words in your pen, too. "History is waiting" really got me. I feel it waiting for us, too.

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Thank you Keith. Bruce Cockburn has a great line in a song “Waiting for a Miracle.” He sings/asks “how come history takes such a long, long time?”

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"The book is still being written,

our song is not yet sung;"

Thankful for you and others who help to keep writing and revising and get us further down the path Larry!

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Thank you Karri. I am thankful for you!

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"A kaleidoscope of colors, languages,/ gender expressions and abilities,/ drawing maps to a brighter day." I love the way you celebrate diversity in your writing and in your life, Larry. Every part of me feels welcomed by you and your words.

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Thank you A.! What a kind and generous comment, and I am glad ths is so. One of my sadnesses of the past twenty years is how the attack on good and solid work on being more inclusive in our society has been caricatured into "woke" and conspiracy nonsense. To the extent that some folks, including myself, "We ahve tio kick at the darkness until it bledrift away from the work, or are afraid to raise issues of diversity and inclusion. "We have to kick at the darkness until it bleeeds daylight." (Bruce Cockburn, Lovers in a Dangerous Time).

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First of all, thank you Lisa for checking in on me - I have been in strict survival mode lately and a lot of my thought processes were directly related to your first poem. My attention seems scattered in so many directions and it paralyzes me to any action at all. I have missed you guys and I am making an effort to slow down and try to concentrate, especially on things that I enjoy. And your second poem... Sheer delight.

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I feel like we live in a world where the scattering of our attention is the default. We have to consciously choose something else . . . and we won't always succeed! I'm so glad you were able to rake together the scattered leaves of your attention well enough to leap into the pile and join us here today. 🧡

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Karri, I agree. I, too, have msised you and always joyfully exult when I see your name in here!

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I have an image of you seeing hosannas, which makes me very happy!

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Thanks be for sycamore shields, topples of goldenrod, and the medicine of crushed lavender. Thank you for *your* kindness and creativity.

***

My attention is begging

for redemption, pleading

for regeneration, a full

restoration to a more

organic contemplation.

It wants a return to animal focus,

the kind free of the confusion

of nervous system dysregulation.

The kind where the slow-acting poison

of constant overstimulation

doesn’t taste so oddly nourishing

and silence doesn’t sound so much like predation.

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The last four lines made me gasp-sigh in recognition! Beautiful and brilliant and also ouch.

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Very ouch.

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Yes! All week I long for silence and then when it is granted I treat it like an interloper!

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Sep 27·edited Sep 29Liked by Lisa Jensen

So very nice being inside that song, with the smell of lavender and the bright goldenrod. clappy hands emoji.

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I am so honored by your clappy hands emjoi! 😂 Thank you, Weston!

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Sep 27Liked by Lisa Jensen

Thankyou for the lecture. I soaked it up. There was still the scent of rain amongst your thoughts, smiling.

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Maybe all lectures should be rain-soaked? Thank you, Peter! And how lovely to see a new "face" here.

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Brilliant pair of poems. You put your finger right on a serious pandemic of attention Abbs just when the despair peeps over the horizon, you pose the solution right there. Not as an idea, but as a felt and lived experience.

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Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. As I was writing these poems (and a few others that arose from inventorying my attention), I kept thinking about how what I really wish for is to just bring a reader into the experience . . . let them hear the rain, not just my words about it. So if in the end it felt like I was offering a lived experience (rather than a mere idea) as a solution, I'm so glad!

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Success!

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Sep 26Liked by Lisa Jensen

You know how deeply this resonates…

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Sep 26Liked by Lisa Jensen

🤍🤍🤍

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I love how the first poem opened the door to the second.

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Thank you for walking through and taking the time to read and comment!

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