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Jacy Deck's avatar

Most days I have to remember

I exist

I have permission to exist

To take up space

To use my voice, my hands, my heart

I have permission to ask for what I want

And to believe I might get it

To believe the people who love me

WANT to give me what I want

It's a small thing

Seems I should know I have permission

To exist

But it's easy to forget when one was raised

To only consider the Other

Never one's Self

And when one's Self is naturally

Attuned to the Other

But for today

I exist

For me

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Margaret Ann Silver's avatar

Your poem is so lovely. I'm especially struck by "I dare you to find anything on this yawning stretch of sand that isn’t already perfect."

And, as always, such a generous prompt. I hope my poem isn't too morbid-sounding. I just get frustrated with how I don't let myself feel certain things sometimes (and other times it seems like all I can do is feel). I'd like "permission" to find a balance between feeling very real fears and also not being consumed by them.

Permission to be afraid

.

May I sit with this fear for a while

not pushing myself to let it go

not scolding myself for scenarios

.

but instead letting fear wash over me

carrying me deep into its sea

until I drown in its darker waves

until my body floats to the shore

until the eyes are snatched from my skull

until my bones turn white and then brown

until my hair is plucked up by birds

to line the nests for their solemn eggs

until I’m forgotten and forgotten again

until it is like I was never here?

.

May I let myself go that far into fear

and then let myself drift back home again

and find myself lying on the sand

alive and with eyes and a full head of hair

finished with being afraid for now?

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